Friday, 17 July 2009

Beer Geekism

If any of the following apply to you then you might be a beer geek. Embrace beer geekism like a lover.

When you walk in to a pub and then walk out again because they haven’t got a beer on that you want (I don’t fancy any of them, there’s another pub down the road, let’s try there and if not then we can come back here and I’ll have that one).

When you take beer to a friend’s house… and you take the appropriate glassware.

When your (non-beer drinking) other half knows more about beer than most of your mates (seriously, my girlfriend knows A LOT about beer!).

When it takes longer to choose the beer than it does to actually drink it.

When it takes you hours to put away your latest beer shop.

When you get upset about beer being too cold, too warm or served in the wrong shaped/branded glass (oh no, don’t serve me that pint of ale in a Guinness/Stella glass!).

When you have a cool, dark cupboard (far from a radiator or the cold of the garage) to keep your beer at optimum storage temperature. Even better, you have a special, or modified, beer fridge set to 13C, or even better yet you dig yourself a basement under your house that is climate controlled to the perfect conditions.

When you keep a notepad and pencil on you all the time (I do this anyway, not just for beer).

When you can recognize rare bottles from afar and are sucked towards it, bouncing giddily and excitedly (look what they’ve got!).

When a newly released beer has you grabbing your phone and texting/emailing/tweeting the glorious news to all your beer loving amigos.

When you buy that newly released beer as soon as you possible can. (BrewDog seem to get most of money each month thanks to their regular succession of new beers, not that I’m complaining!)

When you wake up the next morning and see you’ve written tasting notes into your phone so you don’t forget what you’ve had. (This happens to me waaaay too often and I don’t even write tasting notes in the pub!) (I read about a guy who forgot his notebook one night and woke up to find he had left himself four voicemail messages of tasting notes!! Hero)

When you shape your weekends around which pubs you can visit on the way back from wherever you’ve been. Or when your weekends are beer adventures in their own right (Do you want to go to Bluewater? Maybe we could go to The Bull on the way home. You can drive)

When you will travel many many miles just to try a particular beer.

When you spend unbelievable sums of money buying new beers. (You spent how much? I wish you’d spend that kind of money on me and buy me nice things instead of just beer for you)

When you remember nights out by the beer rather than what actually happened.

When you choose the beer first and then decide what to cook to match it.

When your glass cupboard at home is filled with fat-stemmed, branded bulbs, thin and reaching pilsners, a flipping great range of pints branded with all number of beer festivals and just the odd wine glass or tumbler for everyone else.

When you take photos of your beer.

When you eat something and it reminds you of beer (“Mmm… this grapefruit tastes really hoppy” or “Mmm... my coffee has got fantastic chocolate malt notes”).

And of course, when part of your daily reading includes beer blogs, books and publications.

Oh yeah, and I suppose writing a beer blog counts too!

Are you a beer geek too? What else constitutes beer geekism? Let’s liberate ourselves in the knowledge that we are not alone and we are drinking the best beer out there!


  1. Looks like im a beer geek, chilli geek and computer geek, that can't be a good combo!

    speaking of girls knowing more about beer than mates - our lass is the same, she tends to drink more beer than wine apart from when she goes to her parents which im sure is only so she doesn't look like a bloke lol

  2. I'm definitely a geek according to the criteria although more ale specifically than all your other beers.

    I'm a bt worried about your wording tho - surely it should be 'yeah im sure we could could squeeze a couple of hours at Bluewater on our way to the Bull!'

  3. Well I suppose I'm on my way to become a good beer geek then :)
    I should check several of your points, but I have to pass on other ones, due to the lack of beer culture around here.
    If I ever came to suggest to change the pub because of the available beers I guess my friends would redefine their opinion on my mental healt deeply :P
    Other possible hints of beer-geekism ? Maybe bottle and cans collection could be a softcore one, while avoiding to presence at cheap-beer ( or commercial ) festivals when lot of your friends go my be not :P
    There could be so much more....

  4. I think I have demoted from beer geek to beer nerd. I am slowly but surely coming full circle to just enjoying beer period. Having a favourite sipper at home and have a favourite going out beer.

    When I get home and sort out my brewery it will be a different situation. Then there will be 4 taps of proper real keg and 2 'casks' of ale available at all times in my loungeroom/bar. Hmm, I guess that makes me a beer geek!

  5. - When you have a Ratebeer account

    - When you order beer off the Internet

    - When you're aware that not all American beer is bland fizzy pisswater

    - When you sniff your beer before you drink it

    - When you can identify any non-beer flavours in your beer ("Mmm zesty orange peel and cara-Marmite notes")

    - When you have a large collection of empty beer bottles displayed in a far-too-prominent place in your living room/bedroom

    - When you actively seek out Belgian beer which is beyond its 'best before' date

    - When you walk into a pub and your eyes go straight to the pump clips rather than scanning the room for your friends

    - When you book time off from work in order to go to the opening day of a beer festival, so as not to risk missing out on any beers

    - When your other half has to take a book/magazine to the pub to keep themselves occupied while you make beer notes on paper/mobile/PDA

    Oh dear...

  6. Moggy, you are a geek-allrounder, like Freddie Flintoff (just with better knees, I hope)!

    Arun, I think if you word it your way it suggests to my girlfriend that this is all about me and we can only spend a little time doing her thing before my thing. Wording it the other way makes her feel better and like it's all about her(even though the real object is obviously to get to the pub and be there as long as possible!)

    Luca, the bottle collection is a good one. Especially something like when your glass recycling bin is heavier than a weeks worth of rubbish!

    Tim, I think you are a geek in semi-denial! And having a brewery with that selection is totally geeky!

    Brad, that's just an awesome list of additions! My personal faves: when you sniff before drinking (classic beer geek), looking at the pump clips before searching for mates (guilty) and when your other half takes magazines to the pub (I often have to buy the magazines as a 'bribe' to get Lauren to drive me there - it's totally worth the money tho and I try and get the big ones so I can knock back an extra pint or two!!). And booking time off work for beer festivals... that reminds me!

  7. When you regard a "real ale enthusiast" with suspicion.

  8. I recognise quite a lot of those, although I'd never take glassware to a friend's house. That'd be a bit like turning up for dinner with your own special cutlery. Rain Man territory.

    I've certainly left a pub because there's no good beer on. I really can't be arsed with drinking rubbish beer when I don't have to. I'm not super-fussy, but if it's a choice between Carling and John Smith's Extra Smooth, I'll go somewhere else, or have a Pepsi.

  9. Bailey, I haven't taken specialglasses to a friends house myself, I just thought it was a funny example of uber-geekism! :) And I completely agree about not drinking bad beer when you don't have to, especially when there's so much good beer to be had. This is one of the reasons I've become a little more regular with opening bottles and only drinking half before opening another.